Still, no worries. I start over again ready to fight my way up the ranks. My first major obstacle: the default classes.

For those scratching their heads but not scared off yet, the Black Ops multiplayer is built around classes, sometimes called loadouts. Normally these customizable classes let you choose 3 perks (each grants you an ability), a primary and secondary weapon, a lethal and tactical grenade and a piece of equipment. You can then have one class for when you want to be a stealthy sniper, another for when you want to run around with an Uzi and murder other players as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, when you’re starting out at level one, regardless if this is your 1st or 15th prestige, you’re stuck using the default classes. Allow me to break these default classes down for you.

SMG

This might be one of the best (definitely the most popular) default classes available. The MP5K submachine gun and ASP pistol make for a great, fast firing pair while the Lightweight (allows you to run faster), Steady Aim (greater accuracy when hip firing) and Marathon (allows you to sprint for a longer amount of time) perks let you run and gun until your twitchy trigger finger’s content.

CQB

If your close quarter battle (CQB) strategy is to 1) toss a Concussion Grenade, 2) race in and spray the room with your Olympia shotgun and 3) quickly reload thanks to Sleight of Hand [cuts reload time in half] or 4) toss a Semtex and run, then this is your loadout. My one complaint is that Hardline (lowers all Killstreak requirements by one kill) seems like an after thought. Certainly Ghost (which prevents you from showing up on the enemy’s radar) or Lightweight (so you can quickly rush into combat, then out of danger) would have better served this build.

Assault

This strikes me as the wonkiest of the default classes. So the M16/ASP combo works just fine, but those Perks. First, as the M16 is a burst fire weapon and it has a moderate rate of fire, why would you ever need Scavenger (allows you to resupply ammo and grenades from fallen enemies)? You’re not going to burn through ammo that fast with this assault rifle. Second, as the M16 is meant to be a medium-long range weapon of precision, why would you ever want Steady Aim. If someone surprises you as you round a corner, you’ll really want your ASP handy; the M16 is not a run & gun assault rifle. Still, sometimes you gotta love Second Chance (instead of dying right away, you fall to the ground and pull out your pistol, giving you a chance to settle the score) and how it can pwn the enemy.

LMG

This might be the second best default class. Flak Jacket (you take less damage from explosives), Hardened (your bullets can better penetrate thin walls and hit an enemy) and Hacker (allows you to detect enemy equipment and explosives) all work nicely to make this machine gunner one tough S.O.B. Adding the M72 LAW just makes him that much more of a force to recon with.

Sniper

This is another “almost got it right” class for me. Ghost and Scout (allows you to hold your breath longer while aiming down a sniper scope, therefore giving you a steadier shot) are great when you’re slinking around the edges of the battlefield looking to pick guys off with your Dragunov, but Ninja? Ninja (your footsteps are 75% quieter) is great for close quarters combat but when you’re off on your own looking for sniping nests, it’s just not that useful.

Unfortunately, none of the default classes grant you attachments for your weapons nor do they give you a piece of equipment (Boo!) .

Luckily, after one game of Headquarters on Discovery I reached level 4, or the rank of Private First Class, which allows me to customize my loadouts. Goodbye to the default classes. Time to start grinding

But enough of that gibberish. Here’s some video of me taking down the enemy with each of the default classes.

(Like I’ve said in previous posts, I’m looking for material that’ll help me generate blog updates and this one seemed like a no-brainer. Gaming is grinding, writing is grinding, so why not you-got-your-chocolate-in-my-peanut-butter-wait-you-got-your-peanut-butter-in-my-chocolate these two?)

But before I say “adieu” to my current prestige, how about something for the statswhores out there.

My current win/loss ratio = 0.45

My current kill/death ratio (KDR) = 0.63

Analysis: I’m not a great player.

My favorite weapon/most kills: AK74u

Yeah, that sounds right. I build one of my favorite loadouts around this gun (but that’s for a different post) and it’s no surprise I racked up 2247 kills with 12.55% accuracy (trust me, that’s good for me).

[If you're a real gaming nerd, you'll know these videos I'm about to post. If not, please check out XboxAhoy's incomplete set (damn you, Call of Duty Elite) of Black Ops weapon guides. If you're not a gamer, these videos are part "History Channel", part "pro tips for gamers". They're very well made so they're worth a click. Here's the AK74u video.]

My most accurate weapon & best KDR (meaning I killed a bunch of guys with this gun but rarely got killed by it): L96A1

Okay, that’s just weird because I don’t consider myself a sniper. I don’t understand how I have a 0.78 KDR with 52.1% accuracy with this weapon.  It’s always one of the last guns I purchase and I only bring it out when I need to complete a headshot challenge or I’m trying to pro Scout. But maybe that’s why these stats are so unusually high.

Worst KDR = 0.18 (meaning I got killed, A LOT, by this gun but hardly killed anyone with it): RPK

Really? I guess I make good machine gun fodder.

Worst accuracy = 8.35%: M60

Now this doesn’t surprise me because every time I equip this gun I just hold down the trigger and hope to hit something.

Note to self, avoid the Light Machine Guns (LMG)

And with that bit of knowledge and reflection, I’m ready to start my 5th prestige. In case you’re wondering what’s a “prestige”, it means I say “adios” to all my former achievements and I start over from square one. I have to unlock all my guns, perks and ranks all over again.

That means “hello” to the default classes, most of which don’t work for me. I’ll probably run the SMG or LMG loadouts (guess I already forgot my “note to myself”) until I reach Private First Class and unlock the Create-A-Class .

I only have one goal this prestige: to pro all my perks before it’s time to prestige once again (I’m not gonna prestige again). I also have a very deliberate plan for purchasing perks, weapons and gear but I’ll be sharing that in future posts.  Lastly, I might try that play-wager-match-just-before-you-prestige glitch to see if I can start off with a little extra cash in my virtual pocket.

But for now, let’s remember some of my former glories before I hit the big, bright & shiny “reset” button.

Now I’m not gonna give you my entire pitch but I will say that in order to succeed this movie has to be terrifying, funny and cool. You need to feel the character’s fear as she wakes up to find herself a lab rat forced to solve deadly puzzles. You need to laugh when her mechanical torturer spouts off (il)logical conclusions that’d be cold blooded by any human standard. You need to feel that the Portal gun is the coolest thing you’ve ever seen. If people are throwing cake at the screen, you’ve completely failed.

Since Guillermo Del Toro loves to play Portal (and Call of Duty), I wonder if he’d buy the rights? I’m guessing someone already owns the movie rights.

…

Okay, I’ve got something else on my mind. I keep beating myself up over my lack of output on this blog. For some reason I feel like I have nothing to say here. How many times can I tell you that things are slowly moving forward with my film/writing or that indie filmmaking sucks more than ever or that big Hollywood spectacles are getting dumber? I need something else that’ll help me generate more material on a regular basis, something that’s both personal but that I’m distant enough from. I think I have something, or some things, I might write about. I’ll probably be straying further from writing about my creative process/endeavors, at least until there’s something to report.

Stay tuned… and if you hate where I’m going then I guess you’re free to tune out.

Sony, well, they got hacked but it wasn’t until this morning that they informed me that my personal information might have been “compromised”.

BTW, you gotta love that they use the word “compromised” and not “stolen”. It’s like telling someone you’re “being let go”, not “fired”, or that “the graveyard shift is a good place to find your legs” instead of “it’s a s**t shift and as you’re low-man on the totem pole, it’s gonna all fall on you” but I digress.

If you’re active in the modern, web-connected world, there’s a good chance some of your personal data has been stolen. It goes with the territory. If you’re vigilant about checking your statements (after the recession, who isn’t watching every penny) and you have a halfway decent credit card company, then you’ll just need to get a new card. Oh, you’ll also have to change your password but thank God you don’t use the same password for all of your online accounts, right?  Right?

That’s all fine. What I hate are these lame security questions. Why? Because you’re forced to choose between a handful of pre-generated questions. And if you answer honestly you’re screwed because that info can easily be scraped with a Google search or a perusal of your MySpace profile page (you do know they’re up for sale, right? And that you have all sorts of info on there, right? My advice: delete your account now!).

Personally, if we’re gonna use security questions, I’d like to create my own. Heck, only two people know where I first kissed a girl and one of them was drunk so that’d be a perfect one.

If you can’t generate your own questions, make up the answers. In order to make it easier, why not assume someone else’s identity. Yeah, that’s right, lie. Sometimes lying works. Maybe you were born in Castle Greyskull and maybe your first pet was Battle Cat.

Just lay off the riods, okay?

Okay, let me put this right out there: I’m terrible at Black Ops. It’s a good day when my K:D ratio hovers around 0.50, which is very frustrating. This isn’t helped by the fact that everyone I get matched against is on their 15th prestige, can absorb a clip and a half of bullets yet can kill me from across the map with a single shot from their Famas. What worse, all my online buddies love to play Team Deathmatch. I hate TDM (where I usually end up 3:28). I’m not only better with objective games, I just find them more fun.

Anyway, I was ready to retire the game when I saw something I’d never seen before: Mercenary Moshpit. Knowing nothing about it, I gave it a shot. It’s freakin’ awesome. It’s a randomized objective game with randomized teams. One game it’s Search & Destroy with a 14 year-old Rambo, the next it’s Headquarters against him.

Goddamn you Black Ops, you sucked me back in.

Honestly, I would of thought Ghost would have been up there; it always seems that everyone on the other team is running Ghost. Me, I favor Hardline-Sleight of Hand-Hacker or Scavenger-Warlord-Second Chance.

What about you?

Audience Calibration Procedure from Superbrothers: Sword & Sworcery on Vimeo.

Damn, that looks cool.

Oh, wait, sorry about that.

For the uninitiated, I’m only referring to half the game, the online multiplayer mode, and there’s a good reason for that.  The solo campaign sucks. I’ve been gaming for about a year now and BLACK OPS easily has one of the most boring single player experiences imaginable.  You do the same thing level after level after level. Once in a while they throw you in a vehicle but that’s never as fun as it should be. Even worse, the game play is occasionally confusing and, sadly, not very engaging, which is a shame considering how much I enjoyed the solo CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE 2 experience.  The only reason to complete the BLACK OPS solo mission is to open up the amazingly fun “Five” map (more on that in a second).

No, the one reason this game stays in my PS3 is because of the online multiplayer.  Clearly this is where all the hard work went.  Not only are there a wide variety of game types (from variations on “capture the flag” to “every-man-for-himself“) but they also mixed in a leveling systems and currency used for player/weapon customizations/wager matches.  In short, they’ve added just about everything that makes a game addictive while managing to keep the hacking/modding to a minimum.  Might I add that it was all the modding/hacking that turned me off to the CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE 2 online multiplayer.  But I digress.  It’s not all guerrilla warfare against other dudes. You also have the zombie modes.

These are co-op games of survival, which we’ve seen before, but it’s the one called “Five” that stands out from the pack. Here’s why: you’re in the pentagon when a zombie infestation breaks out. You (and up to 3 other players) have to fight your way out. Okay, so far this sounds like any other zombie game, right? Did I mention that you get to play one of these guys?

That’s right, you get to play as JFK, Robert McNamara, Castro or Nixon. Freakin’ sweet!

And now I’m off to download the new map pack… after I do a little more writing (priorities, right?).

But I digress. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association, or HFPA (doesn’t that sound like an STD?), just announced the Golden Globe nominations. As always, it’s a bewildering mix of high brow films, popcorn flicks and the unexplainable (I’m talking about that unsexy, so-it-thinks-it-can-sing retarded step-sister of SHOWGIRLS. THREE NOMINATION? ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME?!).

So, thoughts? Opinions? Violent dissent?

Someone, please make this into a real game!