Many moons ago, when I was working a Pro Tools session with my friend Lillian (BTW, as you’ll soon learn, I’m not upset with you) she informed me of a “naming game” people were playing on set. The “game” is pretty simple: add an appropriate adjective to someone’s name so that you perfectly describe a facet of their personality. On a side note, unbeknownst to me, I invented the game years prior when I started calling a friend “Mean Gene.” Anyway, I asked, “what’s my name?” “Dark Tony,” she replied.
All those playing the game said she’d hit it on the nail… and I’d have to agree with them. It’s a part of me. For example, when I heard about a reality show where kids run a town on their own for a month, I didn’t imagine a feel-good network series. I imagined something along the lines of “Eli Roth remakes LORD OF THE FLIES.”
I never see it coming but when I find myself staring down those Travis Bickle tendencies, I know I’ve become Dark Tony. Why blog about my psychological state? Because I’ve been under a long shadow and I think I know why. It happened when my September thesis shoot feel apart. This creative miscarriage brought my drive to a screeching halt. I stopped working on my thesis, I stopped working on feature projects, I just stopped working.
But I think I’m in the penumbra now. I’m feeling creativity coming back to me. I’m readjusting my focus to a December thesis shoot. I’m starting to rewrite a script I finished. I’m even starting a new script, a no-budget project I hope to make my first feature. Things are looking brighter.
And that also means I’ll be blogging more. 
Loading ...