By now you’ve heard that Amazon wants to start making movies and they’re gonna give everyone a shot? And they’ve got money.
So far, sounds good.
You can either submit a script or a “test film”.
Okay, but WTF is a “test film”? It’s a video rough draft of your film. It has to be at least 70 minutes long and include “great acting and sound but not theatrical-quality production values.”
And then people can vote if they like your stuff.
Ooh, that sounds too much like YouTube and really, who wants a feature film of a fat kid playing with his lightsaber or of a cute kitten getting tickled?
And these people of the internet can also rewrite your script and make it better.
Yes, because that’s how you retain a singular, unique voice.
And once you submit your project, Amazon has an exclusive, free option to your material for up to three years.
What? Help! Fire! Robbery!
Ugh.
Yes, it’s all true. Amazon wants your best ideas, no, scratch that, they want a finished script, or better yet they want you to make the movie, they want to post it on the web, they want other people to rewrite you, they want everyone to vote their opinion, they want to shop your script to Warner Brothers (or anyone else if WB passes) and they want three years of exclusive ownership to your script. And for this they’re gonna pay you zero dollars.
Are they f**king crazy? How is this a good idea?
But what really gets me is that Amazon does all of this while proclaiming itself the new new, egalitarian alternative to Hollywood’s notoriously closed doors. Yes, in the same way that child workers are an alternative to high costs skilled labor. This is just a terrible idea and I don’t see any way I’d ever willingly participate.
Sigh.


