Damn You, Keira! – September 19th, 2008

Dear Keira,

So you’re in a movie called LAST NIGHT? Really? That’s intersting. Why? Because the film I’m making, the one I’m almost done shooting, is also called LAST NIGHT.

Well now, this is awkward. How shall we differentiate our two projects? Obviously my movie is the one that doesn’t star you or Eva Mendes–I don’t think I’ll ever forget her first scene from WE OWN THE NIGHT. Eva, you are a nasty, nasty girl. That’s not to say that you don’t have a naughty side, Keira. I did love that peek-a-boo photo of you from Esquire. You know, this one:

keira_knightley_esquire.jpg

But back to the matter at hand. How will an audience know that my LAST NIGHT film isn’t your movie? Well, I could refer to my movie as “the LAST NIGHT movie without Keira” but I’m not too keen on that. It’s kinda unwieldy, a mouthful.

How about we call my movie “the first LAST NIGHT movie”? No, that’s not much better. Yes, I know, I started shooting my movie before yours but I need a short and snappy way to distinguish my film from your motion picture. I’m cool with calling mine “the better one” or “the good one”.

Now, you know I’m kidding. We both know that’s up to the audience and the critics. And since you can’t copyright a title, it looks like we’re destined to cause a little bit of confusion a la THE PARENT TRAP.

Since we won’t be settling this any time soon, let me just say “break a leg”. I look forward to seeing your movie and I’ll be sure to send you a DVD of mine.

Warmest regards and best wishes,

-Tony Arias.
Director & Writer of “the good one”

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